why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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