Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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