Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
