what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
