So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
