you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
