yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
