I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
