Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
