it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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