i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
