considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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