Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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