need another drink. this is the easiest way
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
