Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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