i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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