You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
