I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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