I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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