I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
