i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
