dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
