i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
