he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
