In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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