There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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