can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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