you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
