mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
