Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
