I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
