what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
