It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
