Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
