Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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