I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
