she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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