just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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