Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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