i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
