What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's never too late to be topless.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
