I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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