i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
