He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
