the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
MIDGETS
????
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
