Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
