saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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