you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
