I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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