turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
