grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
