That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
