so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
last night I used snow as a chaser
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
