Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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