I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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